Mouth-to-mouth rejuvenation
Kissing class offers lip service program designed to put more pizzazz in your pucker
by Alec Clayton
Originally published in The News Tribune (Tacoma), February 10, 2004. Note: This is a slightly longer version of the printed story, which was edited to save space. It was published as part of a series called "The Wary Neophyte: an occasional feature in which News Tribune writers attempt activities that are foreign to them."
My wife recently reminded me that when we met 30 years ago I told her she didn’t know how to kiss. I had complained back then that she needed to tilt her head more so our noses didn’t get in the way of our lips coming together -- a minor problem compared to hazards posed by my many spare parts: glasses clinking when our faces touch, hearing aids whistling like angry teapots when she gets too close to my ears, the constant fear of my dentures slipping loose. So when we heard about Cherie Byrd’s all-day Kissing School Playshop in Seattle, I thought: Why not? You’re never too old to learn. (I’m 60 and Gabi is 50.)
Byrd’s Kissing School Web site promised that we would "discover a source that can transform the mashing of lips into a flood of electrical connection." We were instructed to bring cushions, pads, blankets and pillows to make our own little "love nest" on the carpeted floor.
The Kissing School Playshop is a daylong experiential workshop involving tantric energy practices such as "grounding, centering, beginning chakra, and balancing and running energy" designed to activate "the bioelectrical circuitry of the bodymind and soul, and greatly enhance the qualities of presence, passion and intimacy."
Classes are held in Seattle seven times a year on average. Byrd, the instructor and founder, is a holistic psychotherapist specializing in tantric, Taoist and kundalini energy.
We joined eight other couples and set up our "love nests" (Byrd also called them "pods") around the perimeter of a large room in the Good Shepherd Center in Wallingford. We then gathered in a circle for introductions. Everyone told why they came. Some of the men said their wives dragged them along. One couple said they had gotten out of the kissing habit. Others said they hoped for more pleasure and intimacy.
Everyone was asked to come up with three words to complete the sentence: "Kissing to me is …" They came up with terms such as luscious, loving, wet, affirming, playful and sweet. One of the men said kissing is "a necessary evil." He was one who said his wife had dragged him to the workshop.
The first exercise was a foot massage, which Byrd demonstrated before sending us back to our pods to practice on our partners. It was limited to one foot. First Gabi massaged my foot while I relaxed and watched Byrd dancing alone to new age music. I wasn’t supposed to watch her. I was supposed to concentrate on my foot. She said something about not getting distracted, not thinking about tools. But I was having a hard time focusing. Already I was beginning to see that I was going to be a lousy student.
After half an hour of massaging one foot, we were asked to walk around and notice our feet. We were supposed to especially notice the difference in energy between the foot that had been massaged and the one that hadn’t. I couldn’t tell any difference. I guess I had not sufficiently focused my energy.
With the next exercise, we finally got around to actually kissing. We were supposed to do it very slowly, not kissing both lips but the lower lip only, and not a mutual kiss but one partner giving while the other received. Still swaying to the seductive music, Byrd said, "Gentlemen, breathe from your woman’s heart." She talked almost nonstop while we kissed. She reminded me of a square dance caller, only more spiritual. Gabi said she was more like an auctioneer. Gabi also said that this exercise, while very tender and sensual, went on way to long for her. I was once again distracted. I kept looking at the other couples. I seemed to be the only person in the room not concentrating on his or her partner. All the others were looking deeply into one another’s eyes. And I noticed that all the windows had fogged up.
At the end of each exercise we were encouraged to engaged in pillow talk for a few minutes, and then talk to the group about our experiences. After the upper lip kiss, one man said his partner was uncomfortable just receiving. Her partner said, "She doesn’t like losing control but I love it."
Byrd promised us that the next exercise was going to be fun. She also revealed to us that she is psychic and that an angel gave her this particular exercise. It involved one partner pouring fruit juice into the other partner’s mouth and then licking and kissing the dribbled juice. We wore paper towel bibs. It was a fun exercise, except during a moment of panic when I thought I was going to drown. Laughter filled the room.
During the lunch break we spotted the Erotic Bakery, on the corner of 45th and Sunnyside. Gabi jokingly said we should not go see what was there, adding, "I can only take so much for one day."
After lunch we did an exercise involving handholding, hand massage, and the kissing and licking of the hand. Next, there was an intriguing exercise wherein we were instructed to sit facing each other with the woman’s legs crossing over the mans, and to look deeply into each other’s eyes – left eye to left eye and right eye to right eye – and breathe in opposing rhythms, the man inhaling while the woman exhaled. This exercise culminated with slow, tender and long-lasting kisses. For once, I paid more attention to my wife than to our leader and the other couples in the room, and we both agreed that this exercise was our favorite and the only during which we began to feel a touch of the closeness and transcendence the other couples seemed to be experiencing.
The mood changed abruptly as we were invited to stand up and come together in the middle of the room. Byrd put some rock music on her CD player and told us to stand back-to-back with our partners and move with the music. And then we changed partners and kept rocking out. And change again and again, until reuniting with our original partners.
Finally, and appropriately, the day ended with a hello-and-goodbye-kiss exercise. We had to leave home in our imaginations, prance around the room to a rock beat (representing the paces of our work day), and then come home to "ravish your woman" with a hello kiss.
We left exhausted, satiated, and all puckered out.
Cherie Byrd holds degrees in holistic health and in East/West psychology from Antioch University. She has facilitated playshops on sexuality, spirituality and energetic embodiment in the Northwest and Canada for more than 25 years. More information is available at www.KissingSchool.com or by calling 206-324-2526.
